


Proper Gentleman

by WrathoftheStag (Mwuahna)



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: AND A NUMBER! :D, Barber!Bitty, M/M, Matchmaker!Shitty, NHL!Jack, Zimbits meet cute, basically jack gets a hair cut and a shave, zimbits - Freeform, zimbits au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-02 21:40:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16795270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mwuahna/pseuds/WrathoftheStag
Summary: Shitty takes Jack for a shave and haircut with his favorite Southern barber.  Will there be a love connection?





	Proper Gentleman

“When was the last time you got a haircut?” Shitty asked as he looked at Jack with a quirked eyebrow.

“Um… about two months ago. Why?”

“Two months? You’re killing me, Smalls,” Shitty moaned. “It’s like you’re the goddamn Mona Lisa only you insist on being housed in a flashing neon frame. It offends, really.”

“I’ve been busy! Wait… I offend?” Jack asked frowning. 

Shitty pulled out his phone and held a finger up.

“Hey, hello, yes. Does Bitty have an appointment available today by any chance?”

Jack’s frown grew exponentially.

“A cancellation? Right now? ‘Swawesome! Yeah, I can be there in 20 minutes. Yes, Jack Zimmermann. Tell him it’s a friend of Shitty’s. No, not a shitty friend, Jesus, a friend of Shitty’s. Great! Thanks, see you in a bit.”

“Where are we going?” Jack asked.

“To Proper Gentleman,” Shitty said and got up from the couch. “My treat.”

“Proper Gentleman? What is that? A sex shop?” Jack asked with alarm as he followed Shitty who guffawed and flung Jack’s hoodie toward him. 

“Dude, it’s a barbershop. You’re gonna see Bitty.”

“Who’s Bitty?”

“My barber and stylist—and I only trust Bitty with this ‘stache and flow,” Shitty said and tossed his head back.

“You’re taking me for a haircut?” Jack asked and pulled on his hoodie.

“Gah, you’re made of questions today, aren’t you?” Shitty replied. “Yessiree bob, I’m taking you for a haircut.”

“You know, when you invited me over for a couple of days, this is not what I had in mind,” Jack said. “‘Lardo’s out of town, Jack. I’ll be lonely, Jack.’ See if I ever come here again.”

“Come on, let’s get you gorge,” Shitty said with a grin as he looked at Jack’s cranky face.

**+++**

The first thing Jack noticed was how fancy everything looked; a dark brick wall, natural walnut flooring, beautifully carved barber stations, supple-looking antique brown leather barber chairs. The room smelled like talcum powder and somehow, vanilla.

“It’s a bit steampunk in here,” Jack said as he surveyed the rest of the room.

“Hi, welcome to Proper Gentleman,” a young man with a kind, happy face said.

“Howdy, Tony. An appointment for Jack Zimmermann?” Shitty said with an eyebrow waggle.

“Shitty? You’re bringin’ me referrals?” A honeyed voice came from the back of the room. “Aren’t you just the sweetest?”

Jack turned toward the voice and found it belonged to the most beautiful man he’d seen in a long time. 

He wore chinos, a pink flowered button down with the sleeves rolled up, suspenders and a bowtie. He had a cute little round face, a tiny upturned nose, enormous brown eyes, and the most perfect haircut Jack had ever seen on a real live person. 

“Hey, Bitty. This here is my friend Jack. As you can see, he’s drop dead gorgeous but this overgrown boy band mop is a hot fucking mess.”

“Gee, thanks, Shits,” Jack said with a blush.

“Hush, Shitty, and let the poor man live,” Bitty said as he waved Shitty away. “Hello, I’m Bitty. Nice to meet you, Jack.”

Jack smiled and shook Bitty’s hand.

“So Jack, you can hang up your hoodie back there, right next to Derek’s station.”

Derek waved.

“And when you’re all set you can come sit at my station over there.”

“Thanks,” Jack said.

“Tony, sugar, can you see if Jack wants some coffee or water?” 

“No, thanks. I’m okay,” Jack replied.

“What about me?” Shitty yelled out. “Am I chopped liver? Don’t I get a treat?”

“Lord, and get this one something too,” Bitty said with a laugh.

Tony nodded.

“Welcome, have a seat and relax. Right now, we’re just gonna focus on you, okay?” Bitty said warmly as he pulled a long black cape from a drawer.

Jack quickly turned to look at Shitty, who was already sipping on an espresso and giving him a hearty thumbs up.

“Jack, would you like a shave as well?”

“Um…”

“Yes!” Shitty called out. 

They both turned to look at Shitty who pointed at Jack with a half-eaten biscotto. “Yes! Yes, he would like a shave.”

Jack sighed. “Fine.”

Bitty smiled and the corners of his eyes crinkled in a delicious way. Jack felt embarrassed at how ridiculously attracted he was to this person he’d only just met.

“Let’s just lean you back now,” he said as he reclined Jack. “And close your eyes. I’m going to apply a hot towel to your face to open up those pores.”

Jack nodded and took a deep breath, and let his eyes flutter shut as Bitty gently placed the towel on his face. Jack sank into his chair.

“Is that all right,” Bitty asked softly. “Not too hot?”

Jack swallowed. “No. It’s good.”

“Good,” Bitty replied and Jack could hear the smile in his voice. “While that sits on here a couple minutes, I’m going to massage your scalp with some essential oils. Are you allergic to anything, Jack?”

Jack shook his head and Bitty chuckled softly. 

Jack was suddenly surrounded by the scent of lavender as Bitty began to massage his scalp. Jack felt himself sink even deeper into the chair and found himself suppressing a moan. Jack couldn’t recall the last time he’d been this relaxed, and he could use a little relaxation. 

With his contract up at the end of the season, Jack was being courted by the Bruins. He was being courted relentlessly and had been so stressed and unsure about what his future held. He was seriously contemplating the offer but knew it would mean big changes. But here, right now, in Bitty’s chair, he could just let go of that stress and simply be… even if it was just for a few moments.

Bitty removed the towel and put Jack’s seat back up. He offered Jack a lovely smile and said, “There you go. Let me just grab my razor and we’ll get started.”

Jack nodded and looked at his reflection in the mirror. His hair stuck up in all sorts of crazy cowlicks. Jack frowned and quickly ran his hand through his hair to try to smooth them down.

Bitty took out a straight razor from his drawer and removed the cover. He then ran it against a leather strop several times.

“Gotta make sure my razor has a keen edge,” Bitty said. “Oof, especially if I’m going to be working on those cheekbones.”

Jack felt his cheeks burn and hoped his face was still red enough from the hot towel to cover Bitty’s ability to make him blush so easily.

Jack watched Bitty’s forearms, how strong they looked as he continued to swish the blade back and forth across the strop.

“There we go,” Bitty said. He put the blade down then took a cup of shaving soap and whisked his badger brush in there. 

He began to apply the soapy mixture on Jack’s face in quick circular motions as he built up a quick, thick lather.

“So, Jack, tell me about yourself,” Bitty said. “Or are you not much for small talk? We can do whatever you prefer.”

Jack examined Bitty’s lashes closely as Bitty continued working. The rich lather smelled of sandalwood.

“No… I can talk,” Jack said flatly.

Bitty laughed. “I see.”

Jack cleared his throat, “I play hockey.” 

And then immediately wanted to punch himself in the nose. Could he be any more boring?

“Oh, that’s nice! So did you and Shitty meet in college then?”

Jack nodded. “We went to Samwell together, and played for four years.”

“Shitty’s quite the character, huh?”

“That’s one way of putting it.” 

Bitty smiled broadly. “I figure skated when I was younger, that’s where I always was, at the rink. Well, either there or at my Paw-Paw’s barber shop.”

“Oh,” Jack replied. “You skate?”

“Uh-huh. My mama thought I was going to head to the Olympics, or at least that’s what she wanted, but that wasn’t really for me.” Bitty smiled again. “Okay, no more talking, mister. I’m going to start now. Just tilt your head back slightly.”

Bitty used his pinky to move Jack’s chin upward.

“Perfect,” he said as he looked right into Jack’s eyes and Jack instantly smiled brightly.

“Just trust me,” Bitty said softly as Jack gave a tiny wink. 

He began using short strokes on Jack’s face while almost applying no pressure. Jack eased into Bitty’s soft touch and let him concentrate on his work. The rhythmic scrape of the blade was almost soothing to Jack. He wanted to close his eyes but was afraid he might accidentally move with his eyes shut.

Instead, he decided to focus on Bitty. He studied the way Bitty’s tongue, pink and wet, just barely poked out of the side of his mouth. Bitty exhaled softly and it smelled like peaches. Jack started to count the freckles on his nose.

“I prefer not to go against the grain. No razor burn that way. Just three passes and you’ll be as smooth as a plum,” Bitty said and continued to shave as he pulled Jack’s skin tightly. 

Jack saw his own reflection in Bitty’s eyes, and for a split second, the two locked eyes. Bitty’s eyes then flitted back to the work at hand. Jack could feel his heartbeat begin to race.

Bitty hummed softly to himself and then smiled and said, “Finito! Let’s rinse off that face.” 

Bitty cleared off any excess shave soap that was left and applied a soothing after-shave balm. The scent reminded Jack of the woods outside their cabin in Nova Scotia.

“Not too bad, huh?” Bitty said as he handed a mirror.

Jack ran his hand across his cheek. 

“Wow, that is really smooth.”

“Just like I said, smooth as a plum.”

Jack turned to look at Shitty who gave him a thumbs up. 

“Pretty fucking nice, huh?” He called out.

“Shitty, sweetheart, if you don’t stop hollering across my shop I’m going to have to ask you to leave and never come back until your next appointment. Bless your heart,” Bitty replied.

Shitty threw his head back and laughed loudly. “You love me!”

Bitty shook his head. “Lord, he’s lucky I do,” he muttered.

“Just ignore him. He can be _a lot_ sometimes,” Jack chirped. “Bless his heart.”

Bitty laughed brightly, and Jack smirked happily with the knowledge that he did that. He made Bitty laugh.

“Look at you, bless his heart-ing like a pro.”

Jack grinned eagerly.

“So, Jack. Hair—what are you thinking?”

Jack shrugged. “I don’t know. I usually just tell whoever is cutting my hair to clean it up and take off one or two inches.”

“Whoever is cutting your hair?” Bitty gasped. “Does this mean you don’t have a regular stylist?”

Jack shook his head. “Um… usually whoever is available?”

Bitty held up his hand. “Okay, not another word. If you tell me you go to one of those god-awful Sports Cuts, or whatever, I am going to cry.”

Bitty studied Jack’s face in the mirror, and Jack suddenly felt very, very self-conscious. 

“Here’s the deal. You are too handsome to be donning that tragic--what did you call it, Shitty?”

“Boy band mop!”

“Right, boy band mop--”

“Ouch,” Jack laughed.

Bitty folded his arms and intently studied Jack some more. 

He then spun the chair around slowly and said, “This is it, a nice fade with a number two—not quite an undercut, but almost. I’ll neaten it up on top with scissors but leave it long enough for you to comb it back or to the side. Sound good?” 

Jack nodded. “You’re the expert.”

Bitty reciprocated the nod and pulled out some trimmers from his station drawer. 

“So, you were saying, your work is hockey?” Bitty said as he began to buzz the sides of Jack’s hair. 

“I, uh, play for the NHL?”

“You’re not sure?” Bitty teased.

“No, I mean, yes—I do, but…” Jack whispered, “I might have some team changes on the horizon.”

Jack wasn’t sure why he told Bitty, but it felt good to tell someone other than his family.

“Oh, well, don’t worry, honey, I won’t tell anyone. Barber’s honor,” Bitty said solemnly.

“My family thinks it could be a good move, but I’m still not sure,” Jack said.

“Well, sometimes you just have to sit there and make a list of pros and cons to help sort everything out, you know? Look down, please.”

Jack squirmed a little as the trimmer buzzed against his neckline.

“But ultimately,” Bitty continued, “it really comes down to whatever will make you happy. So will it?”

Jack thought about it, all the whys and maybes that he went through in his head, and thought, well, yes, this might make him happy.

Jack continued to talk to Bitty about what the changes would mean, and he found that Bitty was incredibly easy to talk to. He was a good listener and gave sensible advice as well, and Jack felt as though they had been friends for ages rather just had just met.

“All right, first part is done. Let’s get you to the shampoo bowl and then we can do the scissor cut,” Bitty said as he took off Jack’s cape.

Connor approached. “Shampoo?” he asked Bitty.

“That’s okay, I’ll shampoo him,” Bitty said.

Connor appeared confused but nodded.

“Have a seat Jack, and lean back.”

Bitty shampooed Jack’s hair and began to talk about his Paw-Paw’s barbershop back home in Madison, Georgia. 

“When I was a teenager, I started sweeping and would help with towels, honing razors, washing the badger brushes. Eventually, I made it to the shampoo bowl.”

Bitty scrubbed Jack’s hair, and Jack’s eyes slipped shut as he let himself get lost in the sensual luxuriousness of it all. He’d had his hair shampooed before, for chrissake, but this felt different. Like the best shampoo of his life.

“I think he was always sore I didn’t stay and take over his shop. Paw-Paw always expected that I would. He called me a natural,” Bitty said with a smile.

He sat Jack up, and carefully blotted his hair with a microfiber towel.

“Back to my station, mister,” Bitty said.

Jack followed and sat back down as Bitty pulled a fresh cape on him. He then combed Jack’s wet hair and continued talking.

“I ended up with a degree from Boston University and thought I’d be a food writer when I grew up. And I did it for a while and liked it well enough, but one day I was feeling super nostalgic for home so I went to my neighborhood barbershop. By then, Paw-Paw had retired and closed his shop, but I still knew what a good barbershop experience should be like.”

Bitty worked gracefully as he continued on Jack’s cut, and Jack watched mesmerized.

“Needless to say, it was _not_ a good experience. Long story short, I ended up opening this place two years later.” 

“This is _your_ shop?” Jack asked.

Bitty nodded. “Yep, my pride and joy.”

Bitty pointed to a photo on the wall next to his station. A small elderly man with a shock of white hair and Bitty’s face sat on a barber chair, and Bitty stood behind him with his arms around his neck pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“That’s my Paw-Paw. He helped me open this place after I got my barber and beauty credentials. He’s cute, isn’t he? I think we’re both the same age when we opened our shops,” Bitty said with a smile.

“Wow, that’s so great—to be so sure of what you want to do and do it,” Jack said as he turned to face Bitty.

“I’m not gonna lie and say it wasn’t scary as hell, but I’m glad I did it and had supportive family and friends to help me along the way.”

Jack really admired Bitty’s determination.

“Paw-Paw always said, ‘Bitty, a proper gentleman always has a good barber and a good attitude.’ So I named the shop after him, sort of.”

The two smiled at each other and then Jack noticed Bitty blush and turn away. 

When Bitty was done with the cut, he blow-dried Jack’s hair and carefully styled it.

“You don’t want any product, right?”

“Right. No product, please.”

“Yeah, I didn’t think so. I made this cut so that you really don’t need any, just run your fingers through it and you can air dry or blow it dry if you want to make it a little fuller or fancier.”

He gave Jack a large hand-held mirror. 

“Have a look.”

Their fingers brushed as Jack took the mirror, and he felt his stomach do a little flip.

“Looks good,” Jack said as he looked at Bitty in the mirror’s reflection, rather than his own.

“I love hearing that,” Bitty said and took the mirror back. He hung it up and blushed. Jack wasn’t sure exactly why Bitty was blushing.

“So are you getting gussied up for a big date?” Bitty asked as he brushed the back of Jack’s neck. Tiny stray hairs and talcum powder snowed onto his cape. “Or?”

“Haha. No… no date.”

“And why not? A handsome fella like you.”

“No time, I guess? Or, really it’s hard to meet people and then you meet them and who knows if there will even be a connection.”

“Connections are nice. You always know when you have one, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I think you do,” Jack said shyly. “And poor Shitty is always trying to set me up with people and hoping...”

Jack smiled and then caught Bitty’s eye in the mirror.

“Oh,” Bitty said then a smile bloomed on his face.

“What?”

“Shitty is always trying to set _me_ up with people.”

It took a second for Jack to get it, and then he felt his cheeks burn. Bitty blushed again as well. He unfastened Jack’s cape and gently removed it.

“Looks like you’re all set, Mister.”

Jack swiveled in his chair to face Bitty, and the two stared at each other for a moment.

“Actually, I don’t think I am all set.”

“What’s wrong?” Bitty asked with a furrowed brow.

“Um, nothing. That is, I was wondering… I mean…”

“Yes?” Bitty said sweetly.

“I’d like to ask you out on a proper date. If you’d like to, that is,” Jack said shyly.

Bitty responded by giving Jack a blinding smile.

“Yes, I’d like that very much. Such a gentleman.”

Shitty could be heard cheering from the front of the shop as Bitty entered his phone number in Jack’s cell.

**Author's Note:**

> What I picture [Bitty's barbershop](https://www.ties.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/hair_terminology_01.jpg) to look like.
> 
> Also, headcanon that Bitty forever cuts Jack's hair, but Jack always shampoos Bitty's hair when they are in the tub or shower together and Bitty LOVES him for that.
> 
> Come and say [hi on Tumblr](http://wrathofthestag.tumblr.com/post/180667424694/proper-gentleman). 
> 
> All OMGCP characters belong to Ngozi Ukazu.


End file.
